Peachie was beautiful to the end. Watercolor sketch by Joe Kitchens (2019).

We are still grieving over the loss of our yellow lab, Peachie, our friend and family member for the past fourteen years. We are still expecting her to be waiting at the window for us when we return home. Still saving morsels of food when we eat out, treats she will expect when we get home. Waking in the night to listen for her breathing, only to realize she is no longer here.

Perhaps there is no reward for reading this, no return on time spent sharing the brokenness of our hearts. So, I have been compiling a list of reasons for enduring the effort and expense of owning a pet large enough to be a seventh- grade child, capable of clearing a coffee table with a swipe of her tail or eating you out of house and home. And, by the way, your dog’s medical and educational expenses are not tax-deductible.  Nor is doggie childcare. But there are even greater challenges.

Take travel for example. We found there were motels and hotels that would allow you to bring your dog along, though there was typically a stiff fee for this. And, when you arrive, the motel staff will have arranged for you to stay in the room adjacent to the elevator or next to the suite reserved for pre-wedding parties.

So, we tried leaving her at the vet’s boarding kennel. We were as anxious as parents sending their sixteen-year old girl out on a date with a Georgia Tech freshman. When we picked her up, the attendant complained about her barking and howling all night. She had never howled before. Guilt set in. We decided to use a house sitter next time. In general, this worked out. We found a neighbor’s older daughter who would stay over, feed Peachie and provide some companionship and exercise. Amazingly, this was no more expensive than a weekend in Vegas or buying her a small luxury car.

Hey, wait! I digress. I was compiling a list of reasons to own such a beautiful and loyal companion. Peachie welcomed everyone to our home, and except for a few allergic types, guests enjoyed nothing more than petting her and admiring her. She was incredibly beautiful and sociable. And, a solid defender of the home! She was especially noisy when the mailman or a repairman showed up, but only until she could sniff them—while they sometimes stood frozen in apprehension, waiting to be mauled.

Dog owners sometimes spend a lot of time teaching their dogs obedience and tricks. Although a friendly playmate and squirrel chaser, Peache never showed much interest in performing-she was in fact from royalty and she knew it. Typically dignified, she waited beside me at mealtime, knowing a reward would come her way eventually.

Bossy. Peachie was a bit of a nag. She regimented our days and nights, sighing heavily when it was time for us to get up. Whining softly when she wanted us to go to bed at night, and eager for her morning chat and rub down. After a leisurely after- dinner walk, Peachie usually settled down to watch us watch television-like us, she preferred PBS programming. She seldom made any response unless a dog barked on screen.

And, she enjoyed holidays, especially Christmas. On her first encounter with a Christmas tree she arose from her bed about midnight and ate the low- hanging glass ornaments. The vet suggested we watch her closely for a day or so.  I won’t alarm you with the possibilities he outlined. But she was fine. Never did she exhibit any of the symptoms I expected. Labs will eat most anything that is unable to eat them first.

Back to my theme of “why.” The role of dogs in the world is not creating challenges for us. It is bringing out in us our better natures, our patience, our gentleness, our enthusiasm. They take us for walks, entertain us chasing squirrels, and generally remind us that we, too, are animals and need to enjoy what we eat, the friends we have and the comforts of home. They teach us the cycle of life, of our time first as beguiling and demanding children, then lovestruck young adults, overwhelmed parents and dotting grandparents. Ultimately, if we are lucky, we just run out of steam and must leave those we love behind.  And, she was very good at forgetting, a lesson she tried to teach us. She was indifferent to all our failings.

In the last year of her life, Peachie was still lovely, still keenly interested in all our concerns and eager for a leftover from the local Chic-fila-A. She unconsciously struck poses that prompted me to get out my watercolors or snap a photo on my cell phone, so that there are little memories scattered about on computers and phone cameras, still unfinished watercolor sketches in my spiral notebooks and a missing toy discovered when we moved the sofa. These things encourage us to somehow feel that because we treasure the days we spent with her, surely she remembers us as well and is waiting on our arrival in the place where those who love are reunited.